Welcome everybody. I’m Michael Taft, as usual, we’ll do an hour-long sit. In the event you’re not used to sitting on the ground for an hour, it is advisable to quickly get a chair, as a substitute, because sometimes that might be uncomfortable in the event you’re not used to it. Aside from that, I’ll lead a guided meditation, which implies I’ll be talking, and also you don’t have to follow the guided meditation—do whatever you would like, so long as you simply sit still and quiet, you possibly can have whatever meditation experience, or some other type of experience, you prefer to to have contained in the privacy of your individual mind, assuming our minds are private. So, with that, let’s get going.
The very first thing I would like you to do, is to simply flex your wrists, you possibly can do it any way you would like, I’m type of into circles, nevertheless it’s not exercise. Just calm down, flex your wrists, after which do your elbows nonetheless you would like, there’s no real solution to do it, after which your shoulders, and your wrists, elbows, and shoulders .
Superb. Then do a few of these—it’s a bit hard once you’re seated, but let it feel good, let it’s relaxed. Your body’s really loose, really open, really free. Good, after which do your head a bit bit, your neck, after which we’ll do spine rotations—whatever that’s for you. Here I’m type of doing the pelvic rotation, but eventually, you let your pelvis stay still, after which just your head turns in a circle at the tip of your spine, after which, just start feeling that circle getting smaller and smaller, smaller and smaller, smaller and slower, and smaller, and, eventually I would like you to get to the place where you possibly can’t tell in the event you’re making a circle or not. You may still be making one, but you would possibly not—I can’t tell—is it just the concept of a circle that you simply’re feeling, or is there still a circle happening? And, right there, just rest.
Then look inward, ask yourself, what’s it prefer to be me at once? After which, look. Don’t assume you already know the reply. Check in. How does it feel? Notice the pondering, notice the emotions, notice the body sensations, notice the stories. And whatever’s arising, just let that be perfect, even in the event you feel such as you’re gonna puke and faint or something, let that be advantageous. Even in the event you feel enraged, let that be. Whatever is coming up, nonetheless you’re feeling—I’m really bored and skeptical and hate this. Okay, let that be okay. Just accept whatever is occurring, completely. Identical to the weather, let the weather be the weather.
Superb. Now, let’s do some very, very gentle ujjayi respiration. In the event you know how one can do this, just start doing it. Not the alternate nostril respiration, just ujjayi. Just very calmly tensing your throat, as in the event you’re going to whisper, very very calmly on the out-breath. You breathe in normally, after which, on the out-breath—I’m going to do it really loud, but you shouldn’t be doing it loud, you simply, from a slight tension at the back of your throat, it should almost be inaudible. If it’s so loud you possibly can hear it, that’s an excessive amount of tension. We just want very slight tension, slowly breathe in, after which, on the out-breath, it gives you the capability to manage the speed of the out-breath. You wish it to be really, really, really, long and uniformly smooth. It’s an extended, smooth out-breath. If you wish to, you possibly can do a mantra with these. On the in-breath you do on the out-breath, do —not actually saying it, just pondering it. All this respiration is thru your nose, at all times through your nose. Notice, already, even doing just a bit bit, it’s very regulating, it’s very soothing, that long smooth out breath, with just that tiny, tiny little bit of very minute little bit of tension within the throat—quite settling.
Good. And now, as a lot of you anticipated, let’s just do a bit little bit of alternate nostril respiration, remembering to start out on the left. In the event you haven’t done it before, close your right nostril together with your right thumb, breathe in through the left nostril. Once you’ve a full in-breath, you close up the left nostril together with your two middle fingers, then open the correct nostril. Breathe out all over the correct nostril. Switch nostrils breathe in through the correct, then out the left. Very slow, very smooth, very gentle, but all the way in which up. Let’s do that together for a pair minutes. Again, on the in-breath or you may do many, whatever you would like. On the out-breath, and we’re going to do it in a different way than we did it last week. On the in-breath, feel that in your root chakra, and on the out-breath, feel it on the third eye.
So, keep going. Just a few hints here. You don’t should scrunch up your face—no tension in any respect. Really, really, really, relaxed, and nonetheless long you’re doing the in and the out-breath, let it’s comfortable, let it’s easeful, don’t strain. It’s best in the event you’re sitting up as straight as possible.
In the event you’ve done this before and also you’re comfortable, make the out-breath quite a bit longer than the in-breath. In the event you’re not used to that, don’t do it. This could be very soothing, and regulating. It’s type of bihemispheric stimulation—left, right, left, right—and at the identical time, besides being soothing, you’ll notice that it’s energizing. Begin to feel each more relaxed, and more alert at the identical time. In the normal texts, from a pair thousand years ago, this cures every disease known to humankind, in the event you do it like eight hours a day. But it can definitely make you more relaxed and more alert because we began respiration within the left nostril and respiration out the left nostril. Then just sit quietly with that. If you wish to you, can proceed to do the mantra with the breath , or simply be with the respiration. Either way, we’re not tightly focusing. Allow the mind to be relaxed, wide open, completely relaxed, completely without strain. The mind is open just like the sky, and the breath is solely coming and going like wind within the sky, and just be with that.
We’re very alert, very aware, but not concentrated. You’re not tightening attention onto an object, quite the other. You’re allowing attention to be so loose that it’s equivalent with awareness, just wide open. And that awareness just happens to note the breath rising and falling, rising and falling. Notice that, unlike attention, awareness is tremendously stable of its own accord. It’s at all times aware, so if, quite than attempting to direct attention with a bunch of control and tightness, we as a substitute, calm down into just the notice that’s already there, stability is already present, very stable, very relaxed, extremely natural, and wide awake.
Sometimes the mind is likely to be muddy, or sleepy, or distracted, however the mind is something that awareness does, it’s something that just appears in awareness. Awareness itself isn’t dull or muddy or drained. Awareness is brilliant, wide awake, clear. So, you will have the paradoxical experience of resting as this brilliant, clear, wide open, awareness, noticing the mind being muddy, or drained, or distracted, but that’s advantageous, because awareness is totally aware of that, simply noticing the breath rising and falling, coming and going like wind in an open sky. We’re not doing the thing of attempting to drill down and find the micro-movements of each molecule, we’re doing almost the other. Just in a really relaxed way, the sky is aware of the wind coming and going. That’s it. The sky itself, the wide open, boundless awareness, vast spacious awareness, is utterly relaxed, and utterly awake.
Be the awakeness itself. Rest outside the machinery of the mind so there might be quite a lot of pondering happening and that’s completely advantageous. That’s what minds do—we’re not attempting to stop that or make it go away, but neither are we engaging with it, we’re resting outside that. Be the awakeness, not the machinery of thought. At first, they could appear to be the identical thing, but eventually, you’ll notice which you can rest as awakeness, and the thought, the pondering, just happens, and it’s not likely distracting in any way. It’s just happening within the background. You’re not likely ignoring it, but you’re not likely down inside it, either.
Now, let your face calm down, let your being calm down, because the wind of thought, or the wind of the respiration, is just rising and falling within the sky of awareness, allow the body to change into tremendously spacious, in order that it’s not only the mind that’s spacious and sky-like. The body becomes just like the sky, too. Notice that spaciousness in body sensations. You’re not making an imaginary mental image of a sky-like body, you’re feeling all of the spaciousness within the body, feeling how open, and comfy, and non-compressed the body is. Notice that sense of nebulosity of the boundaries of the body, until the body itself is just more sky. Still with body sensation, we’re not numbing any sensation, it’s all there, nevertheless it’s all a type of spaciousness that’s happening in spaciousness. It’s not constricted, or constrained, or confined, it’s wide open.
Feel that wide openness of the body and mind, relaxed and comfy, the sky of the body feels the wind of the breath moving through it. The wind of the breath reminding the body of its sky-like nature, each breath allowing the body to open increasingly more totally. As vast because the sky, as unbounded because the heavens.
Now, allow the pondering mind—what I used to be calling the machinery of thought—allow the pondering mind to change into tremendously spacious. This shouldn’t be something you’re doing to it, you’re just noticing its already existing spaciousness, boundlessness, vastness. The wind of the breath is moving through the sky of the pondering mind, reminding the sky of the pondering mind of its vast nature. Again, we’re not engaging with thought, but we’re just noticing the pondering mind’s already existing boundlessness, openness, and it’s not only boundless left to right, back and front, and up and down—it’s boundless in every direction. Allow the pondering mind to reveal its inconceivable boundlessness from the wind of the breath moving through the sky of the mind and the pondering and the body. It’s just this vast wide awake awareness that’s noticing breath moving in space. Rest as that. Be that. You’re not watching it, you might be it. The inconceivable vastness of the pondering mind, spaciousness of the body.
Notice how often you are attempting to place the body in a body-sized box in your mind, and just stop doing that. The body is in a space-sized, boundlessness—it has no boundaries. Notice how often you are attempting to place the pondering mind in a head-sized box—stop doing that. It exists as tremendous spaciousness and ease, something that’s happening in vast spaciousness.
Now, notice the concept of yourself, the story of you, well I’m here on this room meditating,
doing this and that, and permit that to change into infinitely spacious as well, still there, nevertheless it’s just utterly, tremendously sky-like, wide open, just like the body, just like the pondering mind,
like awareness itself, vast and spacious in all directions. The entire idea of yourself doing something is just nebulous, boundless, timeless, in all directions, because the wind of the breath moves through this space of awareness.
Notice the vastness and nebulosity and spaciousness of the sense of self, the wind of the breath is rising and falling within the spaciousness of the sense of self. The wide openness, the convenience and application, utterly, utterly, relaxed, utterly alert and clear, tremendously wide open.
Now, from here, I would like you to look very rigorously, and see in the event you can find where this skylike spacious awareness of the whole lot is coming from. Where is it coming from? And I would like you to look rigorously, at once, in your experience. Don’t give it some thought, don’t try to search out the correct answer, don’t search for a memory or something you learned. I would like you to look, at once, in experience. Where is all this awareness centered? Where is it coming from? Look. Keep looking. Find it. Where’s the middle location? And, in the event you think you found one, take a look at that location rigorously. Is awareness really coming from there? In that case, what’s taking a look at it from outside it?
It’s easy to combine up sensory experience with awareness. I’m asking, where is awareness coming from, and I would like you to look. Just pondering and answering doesn’t help in any respect, you’ve to look. Where is the middle of this endless sky? I’ll provide you with a touch: if it’s boundless, it’s going to be pretty hard to search out a middle. Nevertheless it’s not enough to know that, you’ve to look, and keep not finding it.
Superb. Now, one other thing I would like you to look into, is awareness just aware in a single location? In that case, then that’s the previous query—find that location. But when it’s not, it’s aware in a couple of location, then where is it aware? Is it just within the body? Well, the body is as vast as space. Just in pondering? Well, the pondering is as vast as space.
Discover a place that isn’t awareness. Anything within the room, anything on the earth outside, anything that’s not awareness. Find it, look and find it. This shouldn’t be a mental exercise, that is looking, it’s not pondering. Just look. Discover a place that’s not aware.
This is normally quite a bit more powerful together with your eyes open. You don’t should, but I invite you to open your eyes. What within the room shouldn’t be aware—or, I should say, not awareness. Is that this absolute riot of color, and form, and shape, and pattern, and texture, and lightweight and dark, not exploding in awareness? What a part of it isn’t aware? Look. Tell me, what part isn’t aware?
Listen. What a part of the sounds shouldn’t be aware? As we said from almost the start, this awareness is boundless, so it’s all over the place. There’s nothing that we are able to pay attention to that isn’t aware, that’s how we’re aware of it. Look. Listen. Feel the body—what a part of the body shouldn’t be aware, not awareness itself? There’s nothing that’s not awareness. It has no boundaries, it’s not centered anywhere, it’s not coming from anywhere, it’s not going anywhere, it’s simply there. Simply here.
Now, I would like you to note that each one this awareness in every direction, in all of the sense
gates, is utterly sacred—whatever that word means—it’s utterly sacred. It’s a miracle,
it’s shining with the sunshine of purity and infinity. Notice that. Notice it’s a miracle.
Good. Now notice, it’s also, this awareness in all directions, that comes from nowhere,
that has never been born, that can never die, that shouldn’t be going anywhere, that’s utterly
boundless and centerless, can be the whole lot inside it, can be utterly fallen, profane,
sinful, dark, sick, and flawed, mundane, quotidian, forgetful, useless, broken, crap,
disgusting, foul. That it’s each of those things without delay, and that, in reality there’s no difference between those two things. It’s a sacred, shining miracle of infinite beauty, and an utterly fallen, and decayed hell realm—at the identical time. Notice that clearly in your individual experience, and spot the urge to attempt to force it to be one or the opposite. What if it’s neither of those things, or each of those things, or what?
Simply rest as fast spacious wakefulness, allowing the whole lot to be just the way in which it’s, exactly the way in which it’s, a shining miracle of purity and joy, and a foul cesspool of filth. Notice the resistance, or the urge to have it’s one or the opposite completely, or to eliminate one half of that, or to grab on to the opposite half, and just calm down. Notice the spaciousness of the body, spaciousness of the self-story, spaciousness of pondering, spaciousness of awareness itself. Notice that each single thing that is going on in experience is nothing apart from awakeness itself, while at the identical time, also being experienced. It’s not only wakefulness itself, there are properties to note—that awareness itself, wakefulness itself, has no center and no edge, and no in between. Notice that now.
Superb. Let’s end the meditation there. Be at liberty to maneuver and stretch.
Who has some questions for me, or comments? Yes, here’s the microphone.
Questioner 1: Thanks for the meditation. I actually didn’t get into “every object is aware.”
Michael: How do you already know there’s an object that’s not aware?
Questioner 1: I desired to know, what does it mean for a candle to remember? Is it conscious?
Michael: How do you already know there’s a candle?
Questioner 1: Oh, I see you…
Michael: You see it, so that you’re aware of a candle?
Questioner 1: But is the candle aware? I don’t know. That’s my query.
Michael: Are you aware of the candle?
Questioner 1: Yep.
Michael: So, what’s not aware in that, you would possibly have an idea of a candle in your mind as a thing that’s not aware, and so that you’re projecting it as an object that’s dead over there, but, no, that’s all an idea. The experiences is: awareness of candle, “candle” is a component of awareness. How is that not aware? That’s direct experience. It’s different than the concept of a dumb, unaware candle. That’s all a thought. That’s the way it’s aware. So, notice, we’re doing that to the whole lot on a regular basis. There’s a room here, but society tells me that rooms are made from atoms and molecules, and atoms and molecules are meaningless objects that just collide at nighttime. One long thought that results in the concept of, there’s a bunch of dead on the market somewhere, nevertheless it’s only a thought that you simply keep interposing on experience. Experience is—there’s this alive aware thing being painted with roomness at once. See that, really, see it directly. In the event you keep attempting to think, there’s a dead room on the market, but I’m going to make it aware by by some means giving it a consciousness, stop that.
Questioner 1: I assume I can see it as if I’m tripping on acid, and the whole lot is connected, and the room is being, the whole lot is being. That’s how I see it now.
Michael: Closer. It’s really hard to get the best thing there’s, which is that you simply’ve got an idea about how the whole lot is since you’re trained in that concept. The entire meditation is about dropping that concept, after which just noticing. That’s why I keep saying, just look, just notice what you’re actually experiencing, which is there’s this experience, the entire thing’s awake. Otherwise, you’re not aware of it, so the whole lot that you simply’re aware of is aware, it’s just logical, right? It’s just an experience. Now, I’m not saying anything in regards to the truth of reality, like possibly there are dead partitions on the market, but our experience is considered one of total aliveness, total awakeness, that’s all there’s.
Questioner 1: So it’s like, if the whole lot that exists exists within my mind, because that’s the one thing I even have direct experience of, then anything that I see exists is alive since it’s alive in my brain by some means?
Michael: Yes, but that’s the whole, “I’m gonna tell a story about it using the model that
I’ve been trained-in” version, but, yeah, that’s correct. Now, just drop all that shit and spot that there’s just this total experience, and that each one you’ve got is the aliveness
of the experience. I can spend quite a lot of time imputing and shoving this stuffed with meaninglessness, and gears or chips, and just do this with my mind, but that’s not what I’m experiencing. You would say, well, awareness is coming from my brain, but again that’s an idea, you’re not experiencing it coming from anything. Try to search out where it’s coming from, you possibly can’t do it.
Questioner 1: Thanks.
Michael: Sure, thanks in your query. What else is occurring on the market?
Questioner 2: Hello. When my body expands, and the machinery of thought expands, I’m left with this overwhelming laughter inside, and I even have this really huge urge to simply start laughing hysterically. I can feel it within me, and it’s joyous, I believe, but I’m undecided, nevertheless it’s happened to me before. When things get forged, I just have this urge of laughing and shaking. Is that something that happens often?
Michael: Often enough, and so I’d just say, in the event you’re alone in a room, go for it, just laugh and shake.
Questioner 2: Yes, at home I just start howling with laughter, and I shake, too. This happens where I just shake, similar to it’s shaking itself.
Michael: Right, just let it occur. Eventually, that can just be done.
Questioner 2: Oh, good, but I prefer it, though.
Michael: That is where there’s a possible problem—in the event you prefer it, and so that you type of keep it occurring purpose. Don’t do this. So long as it’s just doing it, then that’s okay, and eventually, it’s just like the tightness that it’s coming from—which is why it sort of feels bad, at the identical time, it’s tightness that’s releasing—the releasing is what feels so great. Eventually, it’ll release all the way in which, after which it’s not there anymore.
Questioner 2: Thanks.
Michael: It will possibly be the identical thing with sobbing, with quite a lot of stuff.
Questioner 3: Hi, thanks for the meditation.
Michael: Thanks for coming.
Questioner 3: My query is, sometimes I feel like I’m experiencing what you’re pointing to for moments at a time, nevertheless it’s fleeting, and it’s like sometimes I can work as much as it through these guided meditations. Or other times I experience it are when there’s something unbearable in my life, I almost drop out of that. after which I’m going into something more spacious. But, I’m inquisitive about, possibly you possibly can just speak to this from your individual personal experience. What’s the method from going to those moments of openness, and connection to creating that a more regular a part of your experience?
Michael: What would you guess?
Questioner 3: Practice, or something.
Michael: Well, or you simply have quite a bit more of them. So you’ve a bunch of very short,
interrupted moments, but then you’ve more of those, and more of those, and so they get a bit deeper, after which they get a bit longer, and deeper longer, after which they type of start glomming together. So that they get quite a bit longer and quite a bit deeper, and regularly what you’ll notice, over time it starts to simply absorb the remainder of the whole lot. Which is interesting, because that’s what’s actually occurring. It’s the other of how we describe it. It’s that the vast spacious awakeness is at all times there, and we’re just really within the habit of holding ourselves out of it really tightly. Then we calm down for a minute, after which it’ll get tight again, calm down for a minute, get tight again. But, eventually, your brain just learns, and you possibly can just calm down, and just stay there. But then I’ve got to tighten up, but, but, wait a minute, I could just stay there a bit longer. Over time, it just learns to be open.
So the metaphor, because that’s what’s really there, it’s actually where we don’t recognize this
since it’s such a habit, but we’re doing a thing on purpose to not be in it. It’s just so habitual that we forgot that we’re doing it, and so that you calm down that habit. What’s on our side is that it desires to, not to simply return to its natural openness, since it takes quite a lot of effort to maintain it tight like that. So, we just got trained over life to try this, and now it’s like, hey, you already know what, you may just calm down. So the metaphor I even have is that it’s like a rolled up paper map that’s been in a tube an extended time. Really, it’s a chunk of paper that’s flat, nevertheless it’s been in a tube a lot it’s just used to being curled up. So, you’ve to roll it out. In the event you take your hands off, it’ll go [zrrp], roll it out again. But in the event you do this enough, it goes back to its original flatness. It just remembers how one can be flat, after which it’s just open on a regular basis. Okay?
Questioner 3: Yeah, that’s hopeful, thanks.
Michael: Yeah, since that’s your original nature, it desires to return to that, so it’s gonna do it, regardless of what, but we will help it along by just relaxing and opening and relaxing and opening. Often, in the event you look closely, it’s a type of fear that’s causing it to recollapse, and the one proven solution to recover from a phobia is exposure. It’s really hard to be afraid of something that doesn’t hurt you again and again and another time. So, as you drop into this expanded thing, you’re afraid and also you collapse, and also you’re afraid, and also you collapse, but over some time, over an extended time, it’s like—nothing bad is going on—so your brain learns. It’s really hard to be terrified each time nothing happens. So it just starts to calm down, and just rests there. Okay?
Questioner 4: Could you speak to how much of the shamatha or settling practices you select to incorporate, and the way much you would possibly recommend to people of their home practice, before bringing in directed mentioning instructions, and things like that?
Michael: Each person is different, so there’s really no right answer. That’s the correct answer. For some people, it’s much easier to never do any shamata, and just rest as open awareness, because that’s its own type of shamata. For other people, our minds are real wound up, they’re used to being real tight, so you’ll want to do quite a lot of shamatha practice to calm down, calm down, calm down, and stabilize, stabilize, stabilize. Then there’s vipashyana in there, too, which is actually hardcore unbinding of the tightness.
Really what it boils all the way down to is finding spaciousness, in all that tightness. Although, traditionally, you’re speculated to do the shamatha first after which the vipashyana after you’ve accomplished the shamatha, really, mixing them together could be very, very, effective, because the steadiness of the shamatha helps the vipashyana. But additionally, it really works the opposite way, the unbinding of the vipashyana helps the shamatha to look more stable, since the distractions are unbound, they stop being tight. So, those two things help one another.
After which, there’s a number of other things we are able to usher in there, a few of the energy and respiration work we did is usually related to shamatha, but not completely. It’s just type of direct, it’s reintroducing that relaxed spaciousness within the body, within the energy. So that you type of should—and that is where it gets mystical or something—you’ve to, in a way, have a way of where you’re coming from, and be a bit bit frank with yourself, and possibly get some good guidance. Nevertheless it’s like, oh, I even have the type of personality and mind that may sit there and do vipashyana for hours—that might be type of a constricted, intense programmatic doership form of process. But you should use it to deconstruct tight programmatic deconstruction—it could possibly undo itself, and so you wish to use your best qualities against yourself, in a way.
In the event you’re already really good at going into deep stability, while staying awake, then do shamatha type stuff until that gets really, really deep, after which use it for either going directly into awake awareness, or noticing, recognizing awake awareness, if that’s available. Or, if it’s not, then using that stability to do vipashyana.
And there are whole other ways—what in the event you’re just gushy devotee who just loves God, you should use that—not even just not enthusiastic about shamatha or vipashyana, but just opening and surrendering, and opening and surrendering, until all boundaries are dissolved by the entire love of devotion, the devotion to this vast space. So there are lots and much and a number of ways, because, in reality, the whole lot is a way. Nothing shouldn’t be it, so the whole lot is it. So, literally every path could potentially be a way in. There’s the basket weaving way—is likely to be your way, it just depends.
Questioner 4: Thanks.
Michael: Thanks. See you next week.
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