Introduction
Hello and welcome! I’m Michael Taft, and we’ll do a one-hour guided meditation tonight, followed by talking about stuff for some time, after which meditate some more. Let’s begin by just performing some stretching. You may do what I’m doing, or do your personal version of what I’m doing, or do whatever you would like—but be sure that it feels good to you.
You guys need to do a bit little bit of mantra tonight? We’re on day eight or nine of Navaratri, the nine-night festival of the goddess, and so we’ll do the one I had written on the board before that we never used. It’s the seed syllables we’re used to using: . is a very intense manifestation of Durga—super lion-riding, weapon-wielding, hyper-enlightened mega-goddess called , and so that is doing a bunch of goddess seed syllables: to—I bow. We’ll just repeatedly repeat it for a couple of minutes, but we’re not only going to intone it, the thought is first, to open up, to put aside the pondering mind—you don’t need it in any respect to do that, it just gets in the way in which. Just take the machinery of thought and just set it over here. Then, just notice, as soon as you try this, you’re in contact with all the things—openness, wide awake, wide openness. Because, once you’re not trapped contained in the little box of thought, you’re just wide open, with no boundaries in any respect, it’s big, big, big. So, from that place, just let the sound energy of present itself, and again you’ll get it as we repeat it.
Mantra:
Superb. Now, having set the machinery of the mind aside, and dwelt in wide open, wide awake space, and invoked this mega-enlightened energy, just allow yourself to rest that way. Outside the mind, outside of any thought, simply wide awake, wide open, involved with essentially all the things, since it’s not separate from anything in any respect. Let’s just breathe that way for a bit while, in easy presence.
Every time you end up involved with thought, when you do, just set it back down. It may possibly sit there and do its thing, but you’re just not likely twiddling with it, not engaging it. As a substitute, we’re being wide open, wide awake, in easy, straightforward, presence.
Good. Now, in fact, you’re welcome to only proceed doing that, and that might be the entire meditation. Just stay in open presence, uninvolved with any thought. But when you should do the meditation equivalent of dressage horse training, we’re going to undergo some dressage horse training, some circus pony stuff, so let’s try that now. So, from this place of open awakeness, begin to note the rising and falling of the breath—as when you’re going to do meditation on the breath, sensations within the body—but, again, from a really open place, not tightly focused on anybody spot, but just from openness feeling the breath, like we regularly do. Wide open, awake space is just noticing this body sensation of respiration as if it’s the wind moving within the sky. Disengage from any pondering. Considering is welcome to occur, we’re just not engaging.
Good. Now, I’m going to ask you an issue, and also you’re not allowed to reply the query by picking up your mind and using it to think. You may have to only search for the reply. It’s the sort of query where, if I said, do you see an oak tree over there? You only look, and either see it or not. You don’t think an excessive amount of about it. So, that is that sort of query, the sort of query where you only look, or simply feel, or whatever. So, here’s the query, what’s noticing the breath? Identical to you’d go searching for something, go searching, or feel around, or aware around, or whatever. Find what’s noticing the breath.
For those who start attempting to figure it out and give it some thought, just put that old pondering thing back down, and just come back to looking. What’s noticing this rising and falling breath in all this awake space? For those who’re particularly clever, and you decide up your mind—you’re not purported to do that—but when you pick up your mind, you would possibly go, well, I do know Michael says, or people say, you’re not capable of find it, so I just know I’m not capable of find it. I’ll just return to respiration. No. You’ve got to maintain looking and never finding. It’s not the sort of thing that it helps very much to know as an idea. You’ve just got to experience, many times and again, which you could’t really find it.
What’s it that’s noticing this breath? For those who can, do it when you’re repeatedly noticing the breath, so it’s like, what’s it that’s aware of that? Are you able to find it? A lot of the answers that individuals will give come from the little pondering box—like, me, or my brain, or something like that. That’s that’s an idea. You’ve got to search out it in experience, not an idea.
Good. Now, let go of that one, and are available into simply feeling emotional sensations in your body. For those who’re not having any emotional sensations, then just feel regular sensations. But, for many of us, there might be some trace of something in there—some flavor of joy, fear, sadness, anger, disgust, love, pride, shame, embarrassment, etc., some little flavor of a few of those. So you discover those flavors in your body sensations—again, not enthusiastic about them—but just feeling them within the body. Feeling them within the meat, so to talk, the varied flavors of experience within the body that come about from emotions. We’re doing the identical thing we were doing with the breath—there’s this vast, wide open, wide awake space, and there are these movements of emotional sensations inside that. Now, again, when you’re not having any emotions in any respect—that’s not possible, nevertheless it’s possible—then you definitely just feel regular sensations moving through awareness—like respiration or the sensation of the air in your skin, or the sensation of your spine—whatever sensations arise. Just notice those moving through awake space. Fairly often there’s only a bunch of little tiny, low-grade emotions happening—perhaps very transient, perhaps very background-y emotions.
It’s a really powerful meditation to only sit with what your emotional body sensations are. For those who did an hour of that a day, it might change your life inside a month, like endlessly. It’s really powerful to take a seat with what you’re feeling, not trying to vary it, just being with it. Not attempting to figure it out, either. No ideas about it—remember, the box of thought is ready aside—we’re just feeling now. You may keep doing that, in fact, but I promised circus pony training.
So, now, what’s aware of those emotional sensations? Look. What’s it that’s feeling them? What’s it that knows it’s feeling them? Don’t attempt to figure it out, just try to search out it—Look. Look. What feels the emotions? What’s aware of the emotional sensations? Find it. Keep looking, and again, each time you think that you’re figuring it out, stop doing that. Come back to feeling and looking.
It’s an interesting thing. Notice that the emotions are being felt. Something is aware of the emotions. So, it’s not like there’s no awareness there, but you furthermore may cannot find exactly what it’s. For those who think you’ve pinpointed it, then try to search out what’s pinpointed it.
Superb. Now, you’ll be able to persist with that, when you want. Or, as wide open, wide awake space, take heed to the sounds of the world around you. Notice that this boundaryless, openness—this boundaryless, awake, openness, experiences a sound simply passing through. Almost as if it’s completely transparent, and sound just moves through with none impedance of any kind—and there’s a variety of sound. No moment of sound is identical, it’s repeatedly changing. So just tune into that. Allow awake space to concentrate on the soundscape.
Remember not to have interaction with thought, just be awakeness, listening in easy presence. Wide open awake space listening, or we could even say, simply hearing. After which, you guessed it, now ask yourself, What hears? What’s it that hears? As usual, don’t reach for the bag of potato chips. Don’t reach for the pondering mind—that habitual thing. Just look. What’s listening? What’s hearing? What’s awake to sound? Find it. Find what’s hearing. Obviously, hearing is going on, so something’s hearing, but once you try to search out it, it’s oddly elusive. What’s it that hears, that’s aware of sound? Are you able to find it? Keep looking.
Good. Again, you’ll be able to keep working with that when you wish. Otherwise, open your eyes, and you’ll be able to either have a look at the bottom in front of you, or the entire room directly, or whatever, do that with a soft gaze. So that you’re not hard looking at anything, your eyes are relaxed awake space, aware of sight. On this case, it helps to concentrate on sight in type of a colors-and-shapes-and-highlights-and-shadows-and-textures sort of way, moderately than really tuning into objects. More like tuning into patterns of sunshine. So, as a substitute of your eyes reaching out and grabbing stuff, you’re letting all of the sight, sort of paint itself on the back of the cave of your skull. It’s just a sense—so, wide awake, wide openness, aware of vision.
Nonetheless, What’s aware of sight? What knows sight? Find it. Don’t give it some thought, don’t figure it out. Search for what’s seeing. Find the seer. Isn’t it which you could’t—although seeing is going on, you’ll be able to’t discover a seer. Keep looking and looking out. It’s not enough to listen to me say which you could’t find one, because that’s just an idea. You’ve gotta look until you actually notice you’ll be able to’t actually find one.
Good. Be happy to shut your eyes again, when you want, or to go away them open, when you wish. And, you’ll be able to do any of those ones we’ve been working with, but now we’ll do something a bit more difficult. Allow yourself to note what’s happening in thought—not engaging with it—but aware of it. Aware of the thought activity. See when you could be wide open space, awake to this thought activity that’s just occurring—blah blah blah—but not engaged in it. That’s a bit bit harder. For those who can do it successfully, sit as open space, with just this stream of unfixed thought sensation passing through awareness, like wind within the sky. That’s a really nice meditation.
Good. Now, ask yourself, what’s aware of thought? What knows thought?—After which, look. Look comprehensively. Try to search out what knows thought. It’s interesting, that when you’re really in search of what knows thought, it’s very hard for any thoughts to arise. It’s sort of fascinating. For those who end up caught up in thought, the minute you notice, try to search out what it’s that knows thought—and just keep looking. Every thought that arises, what’s it that knows that thought? What’s it that knows that next thought? Find it. What knows that next thought? Find it.
Good. Now, do it all of sudden. What knows experience—any experience–pondering, respiration, emotions, body sensations, sounds, sights—all of it. What knows? What’s having this experience at once? Try to search out it. If you should, you’ll be able to even do a comprehensive body scan. Look in every spot in your body, from the highest of your head, suggestions of ears, suggestions of your fingers, suggestions of your toes. Every spot, every joint, every muscle, every bone, every organ. Find what knows. Find what’s experiencing, what’s aware of this? What even is that this at once? Look.
Even higher, search for what’s even doing it. What’s looking? What’s trying to search out all these items? What’s doing the meditation? Find the doer of this meditation. Somewhere on this vast awake space, there’s some sense of doing happening. What’s that? Find it. What’s aware of that doing?
Okay, so I keep talking about being awake space. Are you able to find awake space? Does it have a middle or a boundary? Is it a thing you’ll be able to locate? If that’s the case, what’s locating it? Keep looking—don’t give it some thought. Are you able to find the middle of awake space? Are you able to find where awake space is coming from? What was the start of awake space? How long has awake space been here?
Superb. Now, let awake space chant the goddess Cundi Mantra, and ask, who’s chanting? What’s chanting? Are you able to find the chanter?
Superb, we will end the guided meditation there—or we could keep going—but let’s end it there. Be happy to maintain doing the inquiry repeatedly, endlessly, for the remaining of your life. What’s actually having this experience at once? Just keep looking. It’s a very interesting search, since it keeps pointing to something very specific. Obviously, you’re aware of respiration, that’s a simple thing to concentrate on—it’s not as when you’re a rock or a chunk of plastic, which presumably has no awareness of respiration in any respect. There’s awareness of respiration, but when you search for what’s aware, you’ll be able to’t find it.
Did anyone find what’s aware of respiration? Seriously, did anybody find it? For those who do, , oh, there it’s. It’s like a thing in the course of my head, then just try to search out the thing in the course of your head—and also you won’t have the opportunity to search out it, because what’s that? You never can locate it. What’s aware of the respiration? So, that’s interesting. There’s awareness of respiration, obviously. There’s experience of respiration—that’s really happening. It’s not nothing, but you’ll be able to’t find it.
In one other way, you’ll be able to’t find what’s aware of it. You may’t find to whom that have is going on. So, it’s weirdly each an experience, and sort of, not one at the identical time. It’s just odd. Who’s at the middle of all experience? You may’t find them. We checked out respiration, we checked out emotions. Presumably, most of us feel like our emotions are a fairly essential thing about us. My feelings about this, my opinions about that, my feelings matter—and, in fact, they do, and there’s an experience of emotion there. It’s obvious, but what’s aware of them? What’s it that’s having those emotions? That’s the funny thing—you’ll be able to’t find it. There’s all this experience happening, what’s it happening to? And, again, you’ll be able to give a mental idea answer—it’s happening in my body, or my brain—but those are ideas. You may’t find it in your personal experience, at once.
Same thing—we checked out thoughts. Presumably, if, perhaps I’m not my emotions, but I’m definitely my thoughts, right? That’s me, that’s pondering that stuff, that dialogue, is who I’m. They usually’re happening, right? Verbal thoughts, visual thoughts—I actually have tons of visual thoughts on a regular basis. Some people weigh more verbal thoughts, some people weigh more visual thought, some people each. I actually have a variety of each happening, and it’s like, what’s aware of that? What’s having thoughts? It’s easy to go, well that’s your brain, but is it? I mean, can you are feeling your brain having thoughts? Your brain, in that way, is just an idea.
So, here’s all these thoughts happening, with nothing having them—a minimum of nothing you’ll find. Same thing with the sounds of the world around you. [Recording abruptly ends]
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