Monday, December 23, 2024
HomeMind and SoulResting as Awake Awareness

Resting as Awake Awareness

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Guided Nondual Meditation with Michael Taft

Introduction

Welcome to tonight’s guided meditation. How many individuals have never sat on this room before, raise your hand. Okay, you’ve sat on this room before a number of times. For those of you who haven’t been on this room before, we’re going to take a seat for an hour, silently and with motionlessness. So I’m going to take a seat still for an hour. I’ll lead a guided meditation. When you want, you possibly can follow the guided meditation. When you don’t need to, don’t follow it. If I start doing something that’s just against your religion or makes you faint or whatever, just don’t do it. You’re welcome to not do it. Apart from that, at the top of the sit, I’ll talk for some time. Then we’ll have some Q&A, if you’ve gotten stuff you ought to report–hey you recognize my head blew off, or I hated that, or whatever, you’re welcome to share, we’ll bring a microphone around after which we’ll also do Q&A.  

First, before we even check in with ourselves let’s just move only a tiny tiny bit. So the very first thing I would like you to do is do wrist rotations. You don’t should do it like I’m doing it but you recognize that is the concept circles along with your wrists–any pattern you would like–after which circles along with your elbows. Fluid, not like a robot, get some fluidity in there. After which circles along with your shoulders and see you possibly can do shoulders and elbows and wrists . Numerous different circles inside circles but the purpose is to get real loose. Then you definately can move your spine up and down like waves going up and down your spine like that, but additionally twisties, okay, so nice fluid type stuff just feel that fluidity coming in there. Your whole body is largely water with a bit little bit of magic powder in it so just tune into the water part. If you ought to you possibly can even do type of like hula hoop type stuff and just feel that fluidity coming in. Then progressively, progressively, get smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller while still actually moving tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny circles still feeling that

until you possibly can’t tell whether it’s doing a circle or not only feel as fastidiously, fastidiously, fastidiously noticing as you possibly can because it progressively involves a rest. Good.

Meditation

Now, ask yourself the query, what’s it wish to be me straight away, and tune in. How does it feel to be you On this moment?  Your thoughts, your emotions, body sensations, and even all of the stuff happening around you, inside you. Just tune into that entire weather system of experience and see what that’s like. And whatever it’s like, let it’s exactly that. We’re letting go of the necessity to change it, to manage it, to make it into something higher, to remodel it, to see it in a lovely way or whatever.  We’re just as a substitute letting it’s exactly what it’s. If it’s a hell realm, just accept that it’s a hell realm straight away. If it’s a heaven realm let it’s a heaven realm. If it’s another form of realm, that’s okay, too. So let it’s exactly what it’s straight away and let’s just sit with that for some time, just type of checking in and letting go of any need to vary it for now.

Okay, tonight we’re going to remain real easy. I just want you to note the aspect of experience that’s wide open and wide awake, and just as much as possible, come from that place. Notice I’m not saying make some a part of experience wide open and wide awake. I’m saying notice the part that’s already wide open and wide awake. You’ll be able to’t manufacture that–the ego can’t do anything to make that. So there’s really nothing in your egoic sense of self to do except mainly get out of the best way. If the egoic sense of self says, how do I get out of the best way? That’s getting in the best way, so as a substitute just tune in to the a part of experience that’s already wide open, wide awake. At any time when the mind grabs onto anything, as soon as you notice it’s grabbed onto anything just let go of that. Drop it. Come back to wide open wide awakeness.

Notice that there’s no meditation object. When you’re used to having something to deal with just like the breath or body sensation or a mantra or a visualization or whatever, on this thing we’re doing straight away there’s nothing to deal with. As an alternative, we’re just coming back to wide open wide awakeness that’s at all times been there. When you end up following a train of thought, just let go, come back to wide open wide awakeness. When you end up doing a bunch of body stretching that’s not what we’re doing. We’re sitting as wide open wide awakeness, letting the body be okay just because it is.

 When you end up meditating in your respiration and that’s a powerful habit since you’ve been trained into it, that’s okay. But that’s not what we’re doing. That’s specializing in an object. As an alternative we’re just resting as wide openness that’s awake. 

The essential thing here is to only trust that if we sit, not giving the egoic sense of self anything to do, it’ll be okay. Sometimes this type of meditation is named ego starvation since you’re not even giving the ego a meditation practice to do. It has no purpose in this fashion of sitting, and so the more you’re employed in this fashion, the more it just form of settles down into the background, as only a function relatively than something you’re being or a mask you’re coming from. So, in case you end up attempting to work out learn how to do that appropriately, or in any respect, just stop that. When you’re scrambling around trying to search out something to deal with, just stop that. When you end up getting pulled away into trains of thought time and again, that’s very normal. Just every time you notice it, just calm down. You don’t should stop the thought or slap your hand or whatever, you simply calm down and are available back to wide, openness without doing anything in any respect.  You’re just sitting as wide open wide awakeness. 

Sometimes the ego tries to get entangled and tries to make awareness in some way wide open and force it, or do something to make awareness open. But that’s, in fact, not possible. Awareness is at all times wide open. There’s absolutely nothing you possibly can do to make it more open. So, in case you’re spending time attempting to expand it or make it vast, or widen it, just drop all that. It’s already wide. That’s just getting involved in doing something. It’s at all times completely awake. But it will possibly be the case that we get real sleepy. One of the best thing to do about that’s to take a seat up real straight–don’t slouch–keep your head up straight, and sit along with your eyes open, if that helps. Otherwise, in this fashion of working, sometimes you possibly can get form of drowsy, so we sit up nice and straight, and keep our eyes open so we stay nice and alert. But that’s just helping by way of the embodied properties of wakefulness, whereas the awakeness of awareness is at all times completely awake. 

This practice in a way is totally trusting the at all times already wide awake, wide open nature of experience and that there’s nothing in any respect we try this can improve that. But, we are able to let go of the things that distract from it; let go of all of the involvement with doing doing doing doing doing; the sensation of doing; the sense of taking control; or changing, or suppressing, or denying, or expanding, or all that stuff that distracts us from this already existing wide awakeness which has at all times been there.

Anytime you notice yourself all involved in pondering, just calm down. The pondering can occur–you’re not trying to manage or change or stop or deny the pondering, just don’t be involved with it in any respect. It’s similar to birds chattering within the trees or something. It could be there as much because it wants but you’re not particularly decoding it into meaning it’s just sounds and your head that you simply’re not involved with all of it and in case you notice you’re getting involved with it just calm down come back to wide open wide awakeness that’s not involved with it.

When you absolutely cannot do that and your mind is just running in a circle running in a circle attempting to do it right, do it right, do it right, if you ought to, you possibly can type of back up and just use the breath as a meditation object. Give attention to that and calm down. Otherwise, just let it run in a circle. Don’t worry about it. Keep resting as wide open wide awakeness with nothing to do. There’s absolutely nothing to do.

Notice in case your experience is just that you simply keep finding things which can be flawed and you ought to fix them. , this feels weird and I should change it. Or that thing isn’t right and I’ve got to regulate it–that’s all of the ego just justifying its existence. We’re just letting go of that completely straight away we’re not killing it or denying it or anything, we’re just pushing within the clutch, so to talk, and just letting it spin but we’re not engaging it. We’re just sitting with wide open wide awakeness with the whole lot just the best way it’s and letting go of that fundamental sense of aggression. That deep aggression against ourselves that the whole lot’s not right, and I even have to vary, it and I want to do that, and do that, and do that, and do that, and do that–to attempt to feel okay. And see that while you let go of that and just sit as your personal already existing wide open wide awakeness, that does already feel just superb. It doesn’t need to vary anything. It has fundamental joy and compassion towards the self. 

What if the whole lot is already all right just the best way it’s? What if, only for the time of this meditation, only for the remaining little time of this meditation, you took a probability and just laid to rest the necessity to change the whole lot only for a bit while, and just let wide open wide awakeness–which is your fundamental nature. Be where you’re coming from. You’ll be able to’t do it. It’s not a thing you possibly can do. It’s only a thing you possibly can stop distracting yourself from in case you let go of all doing, you’ll just naturally come to rest in wide awake, wide openness, not engaging with any thoughts in any respect. 

As I said, the meditation is asking you to trust that your fundamental nature is largely sane and open and joyous and type without you doing anything in any respect. The more you calm down like this, the more you begin to essentially tune into the wide openness. Again, you’re not making it more wide open;  it’s just that you simply’re noticing how boundless and really unrestricted it’s. It’s not confined in any way. The egoic sense of self is like velcro for thoughts. Every thought sticks to it after which it collapses across the thought and just grinds and grinds and grinds. But wide open wide awakeness has no hooks in any respect for thoughts. It’s transparent to pondering. Considering just doesn’t catch on it, so, again, there could also be a number of thoughts, however the wide awakeness just doesn’t grab on in any respect. My friend Rick says it’s like Teflon for thoughts, but I don’t consider it as Teflon, I feel of it as transparent. The thoughts just move through and there’s nothing to catch on. It’s just wide open. 

When you end up drowsy in any respect, sit up, open your eyes, come back to presence. That is the practice of presence. Most of us all day long we’re practicing non-presence,  continually distracting from what’s actually happening. Here, we’re letting go of all distraction and just settling into the natural deep presence that’s at all times there, at all times available, at all times our natural condition. Really, you possibly can’t practice presence. You simply practice not distracting from presence. We let go of distracting from presence, after which we naturally calm down back into total presence. It’s not a matter of focusing, or constricting our attention, or narrowing and tightening. Reasonably, it’s the alternative. We calm down and let go, and that brings us into natural presence.

Notice that you simply’re not putting yourself into an altered state. If we do really strong, tight attention concentration style meditation we are able to often find yourself in a extremely altered state, and that may feel good, and you possibly can tell something’s happening and so forth. But altered states come and go. This isn’t an altered state: that is just your fundamental being.  This never comes and goes. You’ll be able to distract yourself from it, nevertheless it’s at all times there, behind the whole lot.  

So in a way, if there’s any grievance about this, it’s like, that’s totally boring, that’s essentially the most normal natural thing on the planet. It doesn’t feel like a cool altered state. So in case you prefer the totally neurotic anxious tight, “got to vary, got to vary, the whole lot’s flawed, I’ve got to change, the whole lot’s flawed, I’ve got to do that, I’ve got to try this, I don’t feel right, I don’t feel right, I got to vary, change, change, change, change,” you then’re welcome to try this. Enter the world of the egoic self where the whole lot’s at all times flawed, and regardless of how much you modify, you possibly can’t change enough to ever feel okay, because its whole way of being is to not feel okay. Or you possibly can just let that go.  Chill out, notice the wide openness and wide awakeness that’s already there. Let go of grabbing onto thoughts and just be present, be open, be awake. It’s not an altered state, nevertheless it does feel really good. There’s enough room to exist. There’s enough space to only be.

Again, in case you end up lost in thought, just calm down. Let go. Thought will toddle on and you simply come back to being wide open wide awakeness. Nothing could possibly be more grounding or regulating or harmonizing or soothing than simply simply resting as our own already existing wide awake wide openness. Let go of doing anything in any respect. Just drop it.

Effortlessly just resting, or simply resting as what we actually already are, and at all times have been, without doing anything in any respect. We’re coming back to our wide openness, our wide awakeness, freshness and presence. It’s at all times there once we just stop trying so hard to distract away from it, as soon as we let go of distracting away from it. Settle into presence. It’s right there. It’s at all times right there. 

Excellent. Be happy to maneuver and stretch, but notice in one other way, there’s nothing to let go of, no meditation to stop doing because you weren’t really doing anything in any respect anyway. So it’s pretty easy to only keep going with it just in a special posture. 

Dharma Talk, Q&A

The individual that I feel of as one among the really, really foremost teachers within the US within the last many many years, Adyashanti, or Adya,  retired last night. He is definitely pretty young, too, but he gave his last talk last night. I didn’t see it but I do know that happened. His partner, Mukti is stepping forward but still, in honor of Adyashanti, that was a meditation evenly in his style–probably not, it’s still how I’d teach it.  I remember him coming forward 25 years ago, and really talking in a way that was quite different than the opposite people I’d consider as Advaita teachers on the time. Those teachers kept saying–that is like within the mid-90s–that any meditation you’re doing is just reinforcing your ego and also you’ve got to let go, let go, let go. But my intuitive take was that they were stuffed with shit. I didn’t trust them. They appeared to be doing a language game,  form of a mind fuck, whereas Adyashanti, who was saying something similar, was not stuffed with shit. He was clearly coming from the space that he was talking about. So I at all times really appreciated that, even when I didn’t at all times follow what he was saying. 

The thing that he was saying and the thing that I’m at all times saying too as of late is that it’s only a matter of trusting yourself. That you simply are already in possession, so to talk, of the fully awake being that you simply aspire to be. That’s already there. It’s not already there like let’s say–this can be a classic image–a Golden Buddha statue that’s buried 100 feet underground, and lots of of us think, well, it may be there, nevertheless it’s a gold statue that’s buried 100 feet underground. There’s latrine sewage and tree roots and dead animals and garbage and stuff that I even have to scrub out and do all this work to shovel out and get out of the best way. Then I’ll get all the way down to that golden statue that’s covered with muck and I even have to scrub it off and clean it off and clean it off and clean it off after which possibly it’ll shine right. That’s when even in case you accept that you simply’ve already got this awake nature the concept is well I’ve got to kind of unpolluted the gunk off of it for it to shine, and it’s me doing all this work to go down and get that thing after which polish it up. 

However it’s not like that at al–not even a bit bit–because, who’s it that’s knowing there’s this Golden Buddha down there?  Who knows where to dig and who knows learn how to dig and what to get out of the best way and who knows learn how to clean the stuff off? And who knows learn how to polish it up after which, what does whoever that’s do to comprehend that Buddha? Who’s that that’s doing all that? We predict we’re going to get there like that, but that’s all a whole runaround, since it’s–just to stick with the metaphor–the Golden Buddha that’s doing all that stuff anyway. There’s not some separate individual that isn’t that, that should do all that stuff. In reality, it’s the concept there’s a separate individual that must do all that stuff that’s the distraction I’m talking about. That whole model–I’m going to dig and I’m going to shine–that’s what’s in the best way. 

Now, it will possibly be the case that our habit of being that doer is so strong, that distraction is so strong, that it will possibly’t just by itself, regardless of how much someone says just calm down and be the wide open wide awakeness that you simply already are, it just can’t let go of the habit. For some people, they only should hear that when, and the entire the sport is up. The entire thing breaks open. They simply recognize their very own innate wide awakeness: they’re done. That’s exceedingly rare, nevertheless it happens, because that’s the reality, so every on occasion someone’s habitual clenching into personhood, that form of doership, is relaxed enough already that they simply hear it once and it just drops away. Personhood remains to be happening, the sock puppet didn’t get burned–it’s still there–but they’re just not inhabiting it. 

But, it will possibly be the case that for a lot of us, almost everyone, the habit is a bit stronger. So we do practices, and the practices are geared toward recognizing that over, and once more, geared toward recognizing that. However it could possibly be the case that we’re so caught up in trying to remodel into the form of thing that may let go, that we just work on that transformation endlessly, and never let go. So that you’ll find some teachers, some whole traditions which can be all about “just sit there,” like we just did. That’s all you do endlessly. Other traditions, we’re going to work at it, work at it, work at it, but then never let go. Some, we’re going to only let go but possibly it’s like people aren’t ready for that and it never happens. 

So, we are able to find something in the center. You are available in here many weeks and we’ll do some visualization, we’ll do some Brahma Viharas, we’ll do some pranayama. But we’re at all times coming back to that wide openness also because we’re learning to let go after which resting. Learning to open, after which finding the openness right that’s already there. So we’re form of massaging the stiffness out of the system in order that it will possibly just calm down. So if we’re doing work it’s just type of like oiling up those muscles a bit bit in order that they’ll just do what they already know learn how to do. So there may be some learning involved, some work involved, and so forth. 

I feel that’s great, but we lose sight of the proven fact that we’re not in some way manufacturing awakening. So long as you’re manufacturing awakening, it’ll never occur, unless just by chance, since it is at all times there for everybody regardless of what. So it would occur anyway, but you possibly can’t manufacture it regardless of how hard you are trying. When you’re going to do anything with egoic effort, just get good at not being distracted from wide awake, wide openness. It’s really, very easy for the activity to develop into central. 

So the work we’re doing is supposedly towards awakening, but really all we’re doing is that the doer of that work is just self-perpetuating its own delusion. That happens on a regular basis. It’s still good work. It’s still helping you concentrate or clean up or not be an addict or whatever–it’s good for you. But you may forget that there’s really just that final recognition that’s already there, regardless of how good you’re, regardless of how hard you’re employed, regardless of how hard you are trying, it’s there regardless of what.  It’s already there regardless of what. 

Who hears the automotive alarm while you’re dead asleep and it wakes you up?  Before you get up, who hears that? Your ego doesn’t hear it.  Your ego is asleep. Your dreaming mind doesn’t hear it. Your dreaming mind’s asleep. You’re dead asleep, what’s it that hears it and wakes up? Something is at all times wide awake even while you’re dead asleep. There’s an element of you that’s wide awake at all times at all times at all times it’s at all times on. I’m just asking you to note that and rest as that. It’s even there while you’re dead asleep. That relaxed, it’s still just *ding* wide open, wide awake. It’s not any effort to have that there, right? You’re asleep! And weirdly, the more you do that practice, the more you’ll every on occasion just, without doing anything, you’ll be lucid in your dreams since you’re just used to tuning into being wide open and wide awake. Otherwise you’ll be lucid even in deep dreamless sleep since you’re just used to being wide open and wide awake. It just form of happens. It’s at all times there. 

Good, so if you’ve gotten questions or comments or critiques, or you ought to tell me how much you hate me or whatever, raise your hand and we’ll bring you a microphone. Just remember that is going live longer than to the interwebs, so it’s not exactly private.

Questioner 1: You mentioned something about lucid dreaming, which may be very interesting, but you furthermore mght mentioned lucid sleep. Could you talk a bit bit about that?

Michael: Yeah,  we are able to develop into awake during a dream, however the dream continues, so we’ve got lucidity in a dream. The identical thing can occur in deep dreamless sleep, where we develop into lucid in deep dreamless sleep however the deep dreamless sleep continues. That’s all. And, in reality, it’s the identical lucidity that I’m asking you to have whilst you’re awake walking around. Just develop into awake in precisely that very same option to this, which is a special form of dream. It’s all the identical lucidity. So we learn various things from becoming lucid in each of those places. The best way I’m teaching that is a special avenue of lucidity with different goals than the everyday Western lucid dreaming or lucid sleep practice. Those are sleep-induced lucid dreams or sleep-induced lucid sleep where you come up from the place you recognize, you go right into a dream, after which develop into lucid inside it. Typically your goal is to meet your fantasies or whatever. Whereas once we do it from a meditative perspective, we typically do it the opposite way, going from wakefulness into lucid dreaming or wakefulness into lucid sleep. But it will possibly just by chance occur the opposite way and the goal, as a substitute of fulfilling your fantasies, is to have the opportunity to meditate there as well. Notice the status of the dreaming world whilst you’re lucid dreaming. It’s all a construction.  Even the status of being in lucid sleep, where there’s actually no sensory input of any kind: nothing. There’s no sound, there’s no body sensation, there’s no thoughts, there’s no nothing, but you’re awake. That’s interesting. That’s a strong place to note.

Questioner 1:  Thanks

Michael: yep, other stuff, comments, questions?

Questioner 2:  Just desired to say two things, one is the best way that you simply felt about Adyashanti all those years ago, that’s how I feel about your teachings, which is like I’ve done plenty of meditation and it’s like, put the headphones in. You’re like, okay, cool, my thoughts are clouds–yeah! That is something that I’ve now been doing for a few yr each week, sometimes more, and it’s really solid. I even have yet to listen to you spew some bullshit, in order that’s some feedback. 

The opposite side of this, which is weird, is like, I assume it’s like a matter comment mixed. It’s this thing I’ve been battling which is just like the awakeness, the characteristics of it that emerge, right? I’ve probably brought this query up greater than once. What do you do with it, right? What do you proceed to do? It’s very easy to see from awake awareness the entire pitfalls of distancing yourself from the appearances that you simply experience, or stepping into them. The comment query is what’s the purpose? But that’s form of useless, right? Do you simply proceed to let go, to let go, to let go, to let go? Guess that’s my query.

Michael: If that is Music School, you simply asked me, what song should I play? Play a song that you are feeling like playing, right? That’s the worst query. Go fly, little butterfly–do your thing. There’s what I feel of as a failure mode involved in this fashion of working. Notice, for all of the last weeks I keep going into the do nothing, but then feel the energy, and are available out. Tonight, just as a tribute, tonight went out as a tribute to Adyashanti in Los Gatos. We just went into the stillness part. But that’s like I’m at all times saying, that’s only halfway there because you possibly can just rest as stillness–cool! However the more you try this, the more energy keeps coming as much as do shit. But it will possibly go awry if it then gets caught within the machinery of the ego, and you then go do the ego stuff. That’s what we’ve been doing our whole lives. As an alternative, if that machinery doesn’t get engaged, you simply start doing stuff. It’s the identical game:  don’t engage the machinery. 

Questioner 2: I feel it’s a fear thing. Like, I’m stopping myself from doing stuff because I’m like, oh no, what if my ego gets in here and fucks up the chocolate again.

Michael:  That’s the ego talking. So, simply to put it in essentially the most woo possible language, the energy just desires to do stuff. And also you go along with it, and there’s an internal letting go, but you go along with it, okay, and it’ll feel very alive and really empty at the identical time–super empty.  There’s no one doing it. There’s no payoff, and it just keeps feeling more alive and more energized. After some time you’ve gotten plenty of alive energy, and no one’s doing it.

Questioner 2:  That resonates, nevertheless it’s very frightening to me straight away since it’s recent. So thanks.

Questioner 3: Hi Michael. One thing that was a bit bit difficult this time around was my leg got quite painful about two-thirds of the best way in.  Normally, once I do a more vipassana type practice, it’s like, deal with it, and that does help with the pain a bit. On this case there’s just plenty of “don’t do anything about it,” and it made it trickier to experience any level of relief. So, I’m wondering if you’ve gotten anything to supply about that. 

Michael: Yeah, so we do know that in case you do real focused vipassana on it there may be tremendous amount of relief in that, right? So, that may be an amazing thing to do. But, why does the vipassana provide you with relief? What’s the essential quality that’s doing it, or providing it?

Questioner 3: Well, no less than in my subjective experience, it turns the feeling into something that’s a bit bit I don’t know–fluffy. It just form of bubbles there for a bit.

Michael:  Yeah, so I’d interpret that using Buddhist language: you’re seeing the emptiness of the feeling which is providing you with plenty of equanimity around it. What does it mean to say see the emptiness of something? It means we’re not engaging thought constructs around it. We’re not making it right into a thing. We’re seeing that it’s a wide-open flow of experience. So, in this fashion of working all you do is notice that even that pain is just wide open wide awakeness. You’re not making it into an object. It’s actually the downside of getting in as vipassana: as you make it into an object after which slowly by concentrating on it loads, you come to see a few of its non-object-ness. Whereas, once we do it this fashion, you simply don’t turn it into an object in the primary place, right? It’s only a flow of sensation in wide openness, so in case you don’t grab on to the concept of the pain as an object, it goes way further than the vipassana without even doing anything.

Questioner 3:  Yeah, I feel it would just be that I’m used to doing it a technique so form of doing the alternative track despite the fact that it gets to the identical place.

Michael:  It’ll get to the identical place, but even deeper, okay.

Questioner 3:  It’s good to know thanks.

Michael:  Good query. Did you’ve gotten a matter?

Questioner 4: I feel mine is more of a report also. I feel the 90s meditations are coming back into vogue as of late. It’s form of entertaining. I feel like once I’m watching YouTube, all that keeps popping up. It’s just like the 90’s talks by Jack Kornfield and Adyashanti and all of those Northern California luminaries. I feel we talked about it in one other group but I’m attempting to wrap my head around working with dualistic practices, like Theravada-style practices in nondual context. 

What involves mind is trust and I feel such as you mentioned trust in a nondual context. How you simply sit there and also you trust that the whole lot is okay, you already are that Golden Buddha. But, to me, what I realize sitting here, but additionally previously, how trust can also be a key to more dualistic practices. How, while you’re digging through the roots and dead bodies it’s not necessarily about purification or attempting to see something, like how fucked up you’re, or your loved ones is. It’s more about form of artificially creating adversity so you may trust in yourself and practice in the probabilities. There are such a lot of sayings about lovers break up simply to make up. It’s almost like you’ve gotten to create that initiation for yourself, that hardship, so you may bond even further with the opportunity of deepening. Even while you got there you may still feel form of agitated. 

Like what’s next? Is there more? How long can I stay there? It appears like while you’re using this adversity as a possibility to see how you possibly can undergo that perhaps still struggling and still not feeling such as you’re getting it. But at the identical time cultivating that deeper trust in a possibility and to me that changed into a special orientation in comparison with the Christian or Judaic concept of needing to purify or I want to do XYZ. Or possibly even like a Hindu concept of like hide and seek of Shiva/Shakti and the way again the way you artificially split things just so you may see the wholeness. 

Michael: there’s a extremely interesting way of understanding meditation. For most individuals, we predict of meditation as a specific technique. Or a specific, possibly several, particular techniques or whole traditions of many techniques.  I do know you recognize this, but we are able to do the identical technique with different views. So actually the outline of what you do may be similar but where you’re coming from may be very different, and it results in a special final result, because you’ve gotten a special view despite the fact that you’re doing the exact same thing technique, right? You with me up to now? 

So what you’re doing straight away, with what you simply said, is you’re bringing a nondual view back to dualistic techniques. That’s the way you’re alleged to do it; that’s exactly right, we take the nondual view. Let me start once more and say we are able to say, oh, these techniques are dualistic and these are nondualistic techniques, and to a certain extent that’s true. However it’s also flawed, because even all of the dualistic techniques we are able to bring nondual view to those and do them exactly as they’re described but from a very different view, after which they’ve this total nondual effect. So that you’re bringing a Zen view back into what you’re describing and that and it’s really waking it up. 

You’ll be able to just see it while you’re talking about it, in order that view isn’t typical, that’s not like how those are taught from inside their very own traditions often. But when we bring our own awake awareness back into them, that is the thing from the view of awake awareness we’re allowed to do any meditation–even dualistic meditations–because they’re not dualistic in case you’re doing them from the wide awake openness wide openness. So does that address what you’re talking about?

Questioner 4:  I assume just a bit nuance to that–once I said trust, I meant it’s purely psychological trust. So where I’m at now, all of my meditations turn into psychological work and I spotted meditation has nothing to do with awakening or anything. To me, it’s like meditation is form of useless nevertheless it’s only a tool for me to work with my psychological states which at this point is trust, and that’s the worth of it that I’m getting from any techniques, dual or nondual.

Michael:  Yeah, interesting. So one among the major things we’re attempting to develop for once I say trust yourself in nondual meditation, is to get that trust, that confidence after which something recent starts to occur. So I’m wondering as you recognize your psychology transforms, in case you might start not noticing your meditation is basically changing also right back into something quite different. Let’s keep going.

Questioner 5:  Hi, while we’re doing vipassana comparing and contrasting with this practice, I notice loads less awareness of intention, which might feel like spontaneity but I’m unsure whether I’m missing something, or that’s a feature, or what to make of that?

Michael: I feel spontaneity is precisely the correct description. What you’re calling intention we could just translate as attempting to do something.  And from the primary minute, I’m like don’t attempt to do something, right, don’t do anything. So, in a way, we’re having no intention in any respect except to only sit, after which whatever happens is spontaneous.

Questioner 5: Gotcha, right, thanks.

Questioner 6: Hi, on this sit, you said awakeness and I used to be often drawn to the feeling of how shiny my eyes are, or how wide my vision is.

Michael: What was noticing that? Whatever was noticing the brightness or noticing…

Questioner 6:  It felt not shiny, and never wide, and never open. So, each time I used to be looking for white and/or wide and shiny and open, it felt away from whatever was noticing. It felt out into other facets of attention awareness or something.

Michael:  Yeah. Whatever was noticing, that’s the thing I’m talking about.

Questioner 6: Okay. How does that, when listening to an instruction, and the instruction is pointing to something else for you, like how would you…

Michael:  Just go along with your experience, at all times, okay. I’ll say that in case you keep tuning into the thing that’s noticing, it won’t be positioned anywhere it’s not positioned in a spot. So eventually you’ll notice this openness and wide awakeness and wide openness, because at first we predict the noticer is positioned ready however the more you investigate that the more you discover that it’s not positioned anywhere. But discover for yourself. I just suspect that that’s what you’ll notice eventually.

Questioner 7: Hi Michael. One thing I noticed is that there’s an emphasis on stillness

Michael: Did I ever use the word Stillness?

Questioner 7: I feel you suggested not moving, and my query is, can’t we move but just be wide open and wide awake as we do it?

Michael: You might, but this meditation is tremendously without rules, and what I’ve found is it helps to have one or two little rules simply to have some structure. It seems that it’s really interesting to note that the more you’re hooked into your pondering the more you’ll fidget, and the less you’re hooked into your pondering your body will just start to essentially, just calm down. So, we’re not tightly sitting in stillness, we’re similar to a bag of sand, wet sand, just so it becomes an interesting feedback for yourself, to see how much neurotic, you recognize, you simply can’t stop moving really. 

So sure, it would be the case that, oh my leg’s asleep so that you slowly move it. But what I’m what I’m really pointing to is the type of like stuff that, in case your eyes are closed you’re not noticing, but a number of people can’t sit still because they’re so hooked into the neurosis, which is okay, that’s where we start. However it’s like that is offering some feedback about that right, notice that in case you decouple from the neurotic thoughts your body can feel okay swiftly, and truly does feel okay. It’s the thoughts about it that don’t feel okay, and so there’s a extremely direct feedback thing there that’s super interesting. So a part of it’s just offering a bit bit of truly helpful structure to something that’s very unstructured and a part of it’s there’s some feedback in there. Make any sense?

Questioner 7: Yeah, thanks.

Questioner 8:  Hi. The instruction to note awareness is funny to me.

Michael: Did I ever say notice awareness?

Questioner 8: That may be my very own brain 

Michael:  Sometimes I say that, but I don’t think I said that tonight. But, possibly I did. 

Questioner 8: That’s where I went with it. Once I start a meditation like that I’ll be like, okay, awareness is that this thing I want to not create but let it’s and I get you recognize at the underside of the hill or whatever there it appears like awareness isn’t a thing so you possibly can’t notice it and so the attention goes away and the noticing goes away and I can’t tell if it’s happening. 

Michael: I’m confused. Awareness goes away, so that you’re unconscious? When you’re not unconscious, then awareness is there.

Questioner 8: However it’s not something I can point to too, and that may be connected to the opposite thing about it not existing in a spot. But when you notice there’s no place for it, then the noticing of it isn’t there either.

Michael: Again, it’s necessary to be clear. I didn’t say it doesn’t exist in a spot,  I said it’s not coming from one place 

Questioner 8: Ah, okay. I’m wondering if my issue is…

Michael: It isn’t coming from anywhere but it will possibly be positioned in all places–there’s a difference between where it’s coming from and where it appears.  So that you’re getting at something really necessary, nevertheless it’s not a conundrum. Just allow the wakefulness to be awake. I kept saying rest as wide awake wide openness. I didn’t say notice awakeness. I could say that–try it straight away. Notice awakeness.

Questioner 8:  Yeah, it’s form of the whole lot.

Michael: There it’s. It’s not hard to do.

Questioner 8: Yeah, right, cool, thanks.

Questioner 9: I assume I want some guidance because I’ve been here seven or eight times, and I’d say greater than half I just notice different sensations. So the primary time it happened I feel my cheek was itchy and I used to be wondering should I scratch it or should I just let it’s. So I used to be practicing letting it’s after which I noticed my ankle would itch after which some place else and some place else. As I sat with it, it felt like my skin was dissolving, yeah, and good, I like the feeling. After which one other time, sitting here I’m aware of the dimensions of my body and the dimensions of this room after which it felt like I used to be an oracle arena or Chase Center. It just felt so expansive. Then one other time it felt…

Michael: Okay, so what’s the query?

Questioner 9: I’m asking for some guidance. I just keep watching this stuff. Is that this helpful?

Michael: Yeah, you’re beginning to notice the wide openness. The skin dissolves, that’s the

sense of the skin sensation being a boundary away. The sense of the room as a boundary goes away. That’s the boundlessness that’s already there. Your mind puts up this concept that my skin is a boundary, the partitions are a boundary, but as you’re sitting there, it’s not a boundary. In order you’re watching those dissolve or drop, that’s just relaxing these mental boxes. You’re not making awareness greater, you’re just stopping pretending it’s small.

Questioner 9: Thanks.

Michael: That’s good. Last query, here you’ve been raising your hand for like a half hour.

Questioner 10: Michael, I just desired to say I hate you, so, no I’m just totally kidding. Thanks for the primary time I’m here. That is wonderful. I’ve been watching online for a very long time. It’s beautiful to be on this space.  I even have a matter. At the top of this, my experience tonight was really, really difficult. Loads of just attempting to let go, let go, I want to let go, until it just wasn’t. And what happened was the whole lot just became really playful almost, and form of emergent, is what it felt like. As an alternative of a thought coming and being strung along like something not here but in the longer term or the past or something. My query is, it it felt great, but am I tricking myself into having fun with the otherwise still painful back, you recognize, need to only let go of all these items?

Michael:  Well I don’t know, are you tricking yourself?

Questioner 10: I like being playful. 

Michael: Possibly the playfulness may be very attractive, but are you doing it?

Questioner 10: It didn’t feel that way, no. 

Michael: Then you definately’re probably not tricking yourself. It’s just while you stop fighting so hard–I mean–take into consideration a bit kid, right, they haven’t learned that the whole lot’s an issue, and I even have to work work work work work–they’re just form of playing on a regular basis. And, more often than not, unless they like are hungry or hit their head or whatever, they’re in an amazing mood, because the whole lot’s just form of–wow!–and it’s only when, oh I got, I got, I got,  that the whole lot starts sucking. So that you dropped it, and it was like, oh, this feels form of great. So it doesn’t sound such as you’re tricking yourself. 

Questioner 10: Okay, I used to be just wondering if that’s something I should lean into or if that’s one other like you recognize illusion?

Michael: That whole concept that, I got to lean into it–now you’re gonna make it a recent thing to do, right? So, just now you’re making it a job, let go of that, come back to, oh yeah, it’s similar to this once I’m not trying so hard all right.

Excellent. Let’s end things there.

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