Let me paint an image for you:
It’s 9:00pm after an extended day of labor, chores, and childcare. The dishes are piling up, and meanwhile, I only got 40% of my to do list done. Vague feelings of unaccomplishment are replacing the optimism I had within the morning.
Try as I might, I can’t nudge myself back into a superb mood.
I’m fried.
As all couples do, my wife and I have developed a shared language over time. And one in every of those phrases has been invaluable:
Once I say that, she knows what I’m requesting: permission to tap out, zone out, and let go of the pressure to be my best self. If my energy is zapped, “forcing it” and attempting to behave normally (reasonably than calling out my low battery) only ends in inauthentic interactions and frustration.
In fact, this concept is nothing recent.
The philosophy of Trying Again Tomorrow™ has an extended legacy.
Jim Croce, a favourite songwriter of mine, was clearly a fan of optimism towards tomorrow together with his 1972 song “Tomorrow’s Gonna Be a Brighter Day.” ().
However the spirit of the thought is captured best by the classic musical Annie:
Cognitive fatigue and the fallacy of “mind over matter”
In 2011, researchers studied a whole bunch of judicial decisions and located that the judges’ decisions modified once they were drained.
Judges were more more likely to approve parole requests within the morning once they were fresh, and more more likely to deny them later within the day, once they were low on energy.
For years, a preferred strain of self-help literature celebrated positive pondering and “mind over matter.” ().
But now, that era is coming to an end.
We all know that our minds aren’t all the time in charge. As an alternative, there may be a dense interplay between emotions and the body:
Yes, your mind can affect your body and your mood, however the reverse can also be true. And understanding the impact of your body in your mind could also be much more necessary when navigating your day-to-day life.
Find out how to know when to try again tomorrow
This brings us back to the my occasional 9:00pm low-battery struggles and the accompanying decision to throw within the towel and check out again tomorrow.
I’ll confess something:
From an ego perspective, this may be hard. Sometimes, it seems like giving up. It’s tough to confess that, try as you would possibly, you possibly can’t nudge your body and mind in the best direction.
It’s also tough because sometimes, it feels selfish. Tapping out for the day while you still have responsibilities (see: childcare, chores, etc) isn’t all the time an option. It could put a burden on others in your loved ones.
Here’s are three signs that you’ll want to stop attempting to push through, and as an alternative, take a break until tomorrow:
- You’re attempting to endlessly psychoanalyze yourself. You’re stepping into circles and may’t determine what’s flawed.
- The conventional tricks to make yourself feel higher aren’t working. Going for a run, talking to a friend, getting some “me time”—none of it helps.
- You’re beginning to feel bad about feeling bad. You’re frustrated that you may’t pull yourself back into “normal mode.”
Sometimes, your nervous system is just fried. Your body is worn out. No mental pep talks are working—nothing you say or do will get you back to 100%, and even 80%.
When that happens, it’s time to begin fresh tomorrow.
Be gentle with yourself. Delay any responsibilities, commitments, and obligations that you may. Allow yourself to zone out, get to sleep as quickly as possible, and trust that the jumble of thoughts in your head will align themselves into something coherent by morning.
Rest first, and all the things else will follow.
