What’s Mindful Listening?

Now we have all had moments of being physically present in a room while a conversation is happening and yet mentally being elsewhere. Likewise, most of us have had the experience of reading a page in a book before realizing we couldn’t recall what we’d just read.

Despite being physically present for something, we don’t all the time grant our full attention to the words being shared with us. Our mind is elsewhere. With quite a few thoughts, feelings, and emotions tugging at our attention in any moment, it may possibly be difficult to totally tune in sometimes. That is where mindful listening is available in: it brings us back to what’s being said.

On this comprehensive guide to mindful listening, we’ll explore:

Mindful listening is the practice of granting our full attention to what’s being shared with us in any moment. Mindfulness, in and of itself, is about paying open attention to our experience without judgment and without criticism. Applied to our role as listener in a conversation, mindfulness guides us to soak up what one other person is saying with the identical openness, curiosity, and non-judgment that we might grant to anything we’re mindfully tending to. 

Oren Jay Sofer, teacher of mindfulness, meditation, and Nonviolent Communication, explains that there are a lot of ways to listen. He writes:

To grasp why mindful listening is significant, it is useful to tune into how we ourselves feel once we know someone has granted us their full attention while we’re speaking. Chances are high, once we are being listened to mindfully, we feel heard, understood, cared for, and honored. 

To expand on this, once we hearken to one other person with our full, open-hearted attention, among the advantages are as follows:

If we predict concerning the proven fact that communication is at the guts of all human relationships, it will not be obscure just how necessary mindful communication is. How we communicate sets the tone for our relationship as a complete. Even when times are difficult, it is feasible to begin shifting the energy of our interactions through presence, non-judgment, and curiosity.

We do not need to pretend that mindful listening is simple once we are within the midst of a difficult conversation. With that said, simply because something is difficult doesn’t mean we should always avoid it. Mindful listening is crucial during difficult interactions if we wish for our relationships to grow and evolve in mutually-beneficial ways.

Mindful listening during difficult conversations doesn’t require us to:

Reasonably, mindful listening during tough conversations invites us to confide in one other person with as much compassion, patience, and curiosity as we will. If we’re being abused in any way, mindful listening can inform us of where our boundaries are and help us to implement them.

In commonplace disagreements, mindfulness guides us to put down our judgments, assumptions, and the little voice inside that wishes to quickly react. It’s about expanding out from our confined way of pondering to think about with openness the needs, views, and opinions of another person. As Oren Jay Sofer writes:

To listen with openness, curiosity, and non-judgment requires presence. While mindful listening might take a rather different form depending upon our circumstances, we will enhance this mindful communication practice by following some basic steps:

First, it may possibly be helpful to set an intention to be a more mindful listener. This provides us with a principle – a stable base – to come back back to once we change into distracted or reactive. If we are usually not clear on our intention, the mind will naturally resume its conditioned ways of communicating.

When the conversation begins, it will be important to tap into the silence within you with a purpose to make space for what one other person is saying. If our mind is preoccupied and wandering, we is not going to have the ability to grant our full attention to anyone else. You’ll find your inner silence by taking a number of mindful breaths, relaxing any physical tension within the body, and even letting your thoughts know that you’ll come back to them later. Now could be the time to listen.

While another person is speaking, it’s natural for the mind to interject inside its own confines. This will not be ‘unsuitable’ or ‘bad’, but it surely ought to be noted. Be mindful of how you’re reacting, observing those thoughts without judgment as well. Then, come back to what’s being shared.

Practice your ability to select up on subtle energy by observing what one other person will not be saying. This isn’t about ‘reading between the lines’; it is just an invite to develop empathy and intuition. For example, is there sadness behind what’s being said? Is there fear? Is there confusion?

When the opposite person has finished speaking, take a moment to summarize the important thing points you picked up. You may do that by starting with any of the next:

The aim of summarizing what you’re sensing is two-fold. First, it may possibly help the opposite person to feel seen, heard, and cared for. Secondly, it may possibly help to clear up any miscommunication that may need happened. Perhaps we heard or interpreted something incorrectly. This grants us increased clarity and accuracy in our perceptions.

Lastly, we cannot underestimate the ability of heart-centered, clarifying questions. Whether we’re uncertain about something shared or have a real interest in learning more concerning the other person’s experience, the appropriate questions deepen communication. Examples of questions we’d consider include:

There’s, after all, no ‘perfect’ inquiries to ask and no rulebook we will follow. Each moment requires something unique. Nonetheless, by tuning in with openness, warmth, and curiosity, we just might find the words to hold the conversation a bit bit further.